Animal Tales
Written on June 28, 2008
The New Yorker’s Simon Rich has a great piece titled Animal Tales the best part of which is posted below.
FREE-RANGE CHICKENS
“Well, it’s another beautiful day in paradise.”
“How’d we get so lucky?”
“I don’t know and I don’t care.”
“I think I’ll go walk over there for a while. Then I’ll walk back over here.”
“That sounds like a good time. Maybe I’ll do the same.”
“Hey, someone refilled the grain bucket!”
“Is it the same stuff as yesterday?”
“I hope so.”
“Oh, man, it’s the same stuff, all right.”
“It’s so good.”
“I can’t stop eating it.”
“Hey, you know what would go perfectly with this grain? Water.”
“Dude. Look inside the other bucket.”
“This . . . is the greatest day of my life.”
“Drink up, pal.”
“Cheers!”
(Laughs.)
(Laughs.)
“Hey, look, the farmer’s coming.”
“Huh. Guess it’s my turn to go into the thing.”
“Cool. See you later, buddy.”
“See ya.”